See, my Old man (Oldie) was and is still one of the greatest people I know. A very intelligent man, I will give him that. Despite 'Oldie' being the pinnacle of everything I know about being a man, the irony is, why don't I want to be just like him? Why is being a man hard when I have had the privilege of being raised by one of the greatest men to ever live? See, most of our recent conversations are all centered on me having a definitive path. It's either; I get a job and follow the classic career path, enroll for a Master's degree, or find myself a wife and settle. In fact, if you ask my old man, he believes it's better to do all three before 30. Just like we say in Kenya' Mapema ndio best.' So why is the essence of my whole being rebellious of this path?
Growing up, I have consistently made most decisions on what I wanted to do up to this point. At the end of it all, when I sit with my children and grandchildren, I want to look back and tell them; yes, their granddaddy recognizes the game. I want to look back at the journey, nod, and tell my sons and daughters that I could 'get it' and I got it. Artists talk about doing it without an album; for me, the greatest gift would be to say I made myself. I would like answers about the social system/ matrix; Is it real? Is it an alternative reality we have created to excuse some of our shortcomings? Is reality really different at any point in history? Do we have any other purpose other than getting rich or dying trying? If yes, why do some people argue that money's value is a social construct? Anyway, I hope we can discuss some of these things the next time I talk to my old man. As societal views on sex, marriage, family, and investment continue to evolve, it will be helpful to have an open and honest conversation about what he believes success looks like. My old man and I are close, but we have never really had 'The talk.' I keep thinking that had I let him in, he would have an idea of who I am and my motivations.
To put the context of this blog and the upcoming content into perspective, I am a middle child. The idea is to psycho-evaluate my experiences about life, success, and progress, hoping we can all understand our levels of cynicism. For instance, despite the middle child being a menace to society, we still hold keys to most of the dying social institutions like the family. This is especially true for people born in the late 20th century. Being a gen Z, or bordering the millennial generation, means we are dead in the middle of a social transition. I base this on the progression of technological pioneering, masculinity, feminism, and sexual liberation. The other generations; the Great generation; Generation X; usually have defined social characteristics regarding money and family values. We are adopting a vibe and inshallah lifestyle. That's us; it is what it is. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether this is courage or the repercussions of an extremely free world.
Finally, due to social anxieties, it's hard to be expressive and revel in our wholeness. One day I'll give the person who introduced me to writing a special mention as the year progresses. I said thank you, but it sometimes doesn't seem enough. Eventually, I plan to write a book about these things, it will probably be a collection of blog content, but I don't mind because the journey will be awesome. Because I recently rediscovered myself, and I hope to light the candles of anyone who reads this blog. After two years, I am finally working out again and talking to people; basically, I want to experience every event and emotion.
Login to join the discussion