This notion of men being contingent upon financial success is one that still values money, and has always valued quantity over quality. If anything this phenomenon has shown that some men are loved conditionally in so much as their value and emotional salvation is placed solely on having money. This is rooted in cultural stigmas around what it means to be masculine that create an incredibly toxic unconscious relationship between a person's worth and how much money they have. This article scrutinizes the justifications for such detailing implications and some solutions to this problem.
Historically, society has forced men to be the sole breadwinners. Men are brought up sometimes from boyhood with the idea that their primary job is to work hard for a living. Media, cultural narratives, and familial relationships all make sure we are clear about this expectation. This has the effect of equating men to their wallets; and in turn, reinforces negative societal beliefs that value a man's self-worth based on his financial status.
This economic prerequisite to love and respect stems from historical systems of labor where men were the only possible wage earners while women remained in domestic capacities. Old-fashioned standards die hard, even though societal roles are more modern. One of the metrics that affect and determine men's social value is their capacity to earn, and maintain economic resources; hence affecting their position in a relationship.
The dangerous idea that a beautiful woman only loves him if he earns enough plays out deeply in his personal life. Lots of men feel the weight of financial benchmarks for real love and respect to be considered as worthy. Ultimately, this pressure can result in anxiety and enhanced vulnerability to mental illnesses like depression or a perceived lack of self-worth. Their opposites in romantic relationships can create this imbalance and tension. This can manifest in that partners, unconsciously or consciously contribute to the idea that one must be financially successful for love and respect. Consequently, they would feel low self-esteem and emotional disconnection especially if their income failed them. This conditional mode of love also sneaks up insidiously regarding relationships, dangling economic power over the heads of one party or the other.
Surely media and popular culture have reinforced the notion that men must be successful in achieving financial success to earn their value. TV, movies, and advertising have a hand in perpetuating the idea that high-status men are sexy hot stuff while low-SES men are less so - or even a bit not fun to deal with. These images only serve to further propagate the notion that a man is nothing more than what he makes.
Moreover, social media augments these pressures, allowing us to see pictures of lavish lifestyles and millionaire success. These images support the stereotype that a man is only as valuable as his money. Social media further entrenches these pressures because of the picture-perfect lives and material wealth it displays. Men are bombarded with imagery of success, wealth, and luxury, which only add to feelings of inadequacy leading them away from emotional pursuits. The constant comparison to peers gets our egos messed up and keeps the treadmill of attempting to validate ourselves through money.
The reality that men are often not properly loved until they achieve financial success reflects a deeply rooted societal issue that ties personal value to economic status. This expectation imposes significant emotional and psychological burdens on men, affecting their relationships and overall well-being. To address this issue, it is crucial to challenge traditional notions of value and worth, promoting a more inclusive understanding that recognizes personal attributes and emotional health as integral to one’s value. By fostering supportive environments and open conversations, society can help men navigate financial pressures while nurturing their emotional and psychological well-being. Ultimately, redefining value beyond financial success can lead to more fulfilling relationships and a healthier, more balanced approach to personal worth.
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